Showers Make You Clean - They Can't be Dirty

Taking a shower is the dessert if your work out is the main course. It can make or break a perfectly good bout of exercise because you're usually in it while you're still in that blissful state of: worked so hard my body begged me to stop mode. Granted, my SGF (straight girlfriend) refuses to take a shower after she works out because she likes to play this whole "I'm an innocent Southern girl, chaste and pure" act (we'll get to that in a later post). However, for the purposes of this entry, let's assume you're like me and you enjoy the sweet pleasure of hot water gently caressing your supple skin.

Ok so at the gym this "event" takes place in a semi-public way. I think it is interesting to see how guys navigate this area.
On a normal day, you have a handful of guys all in various stages of undress, towels strewn about, a mysterious funk in the air, and the humidity level of Florida after an August rain. There is hissing from the steamroom and sound of the shower water hitting the floor.

No matter what there will be a locker lizard, towel troll, whatever you want to call him - he's only there to hang out in the lockerroom and follow guys to the shower. Yes, this happens on a daily basis at pretty much every gym in the city. It's usually an overly tan chubby guy who has no shame about looking down at your crotch.

You go into the shower, thankfully there are stalls at the club and not a gang shower like in high school (sigh . . . I wish I went to school with Mario Lopez) and there really isn't anything out of the ordinary.

The one thing you will notice after you turn around to get your back wet is that there are several holes that were torn into the curtain. It is clearly obvious by the ever so conspicuous eye-level location they were made to be "peepholes" for some curious chap who wants to see some man-goods.

Now I refuse to believe that my fellow gays are out here ripping tiny holes into the curtains of shower stalls - it's easy enough to get some good old fashion gay lovin' in New York City.

So who are these voyeuristic bandits?

Choice A: It's the married guys.
It has to be the married guys who are so insecure about their own inabilities to satisfy a woman with their meager goods. They're dying to see the competition, they're born and bred on the American ideal that bigger is better - and that investigative pursuit been happening at the urinals since Kindergarten.

Choice B: It's the "straight" guys.
Any perusal of craiglists will provide you with more than a few postings from "straight" guys who want to check out another guy while he showers.
It's not really a noteworthy day when you walk past the showers to see guys poking their heads out . . . both of them.

Choice C: It's the "not-so-hot" gay boys.
This is probably sad but true. We're a nasty bunch and let's face it - seeing naked wet guys never gets boring. If you're not getting it every morning when you watch your boyfriend (or boyfriend for a night) shower - you have to be resourceful. If nothing else, the gays are a resourceful bunch.

Nonetheless, there are peepholes in every single shower curtain, and you don't even have to pay a quarter.