Never Been Kissed

Friday night I was getting in my late-night workout at a midtown-ish location. The gym was sparsely occupied with maybe 10 guys in the whole (huge) facility. Nothing too distracting, just the regular crowd of meatheads with a few hard-working but sadly inefficient guys. As per my M.O. I got down to it and hit the weights hard.

While prepping for some dumbbell shoulder presses (my goal is to have the best shoulders of my life this summer) I notice a muscular, dark-haired, beefcake of a guy. He was taller than he needed to be but the sheer size of his frame and muscles made him seem nicely proportional. He actually looked like he could be a superhero. So I was sitting on the bench with the weights on my knees and I catch him looking at me in the mirror.

Hmm. What's he looking at? Is he looking at me because he wants the 55# dumbbells? Must be. I finish the set, put the weights away and head to the cable lat pull down to finish out the superset. When I come back for the next set of shoulder press the guy is sitting on my bench looking at himself in the mirror.

He looks fine, maybe I'd have confess and say that he looks good. "You need this?" he asks pointing down between his legs. Was he talking about the bench he was sitting on or was he talking about something else? Either way the answer might have been "Yes." but instead I declined and went to the bench next to him. We were now about 2 feet apart both sitting up facing the mirror. This location is huge and it seemed like we had the whole place to ourselves. He nodded at me in the mirror and I heaved the weights up to my shoulders.

Looking back on this it actually all happened really quickly. I just went on with my workout - it would take a lot to get me to slow down. I rarely ever talk at the gym while lifting.

For the next 20 minutes he played this little game with me involving angles of reflection in the mirror. Even though we weren't even near each other on the floor he was always in the mirror through a series of reflections. I would glance over at nothing and I'd see his eyes looking back at me. I felt like I was in some sort of funhouse with mirrors everywhere.

Maybe I was imagining all of this. This guy surely didn't look gay - whatever that means. He seemed way too cocky and jocky, the quintessential frat boy - and not in the abercrombie way - in the straight boy way. It's hard to explain but you'll know it when you see it. This guy most likely plays football in Central Park but doesn't care if his shorts look cute.

Alright, so his club has staircase that brings members downstairs to the weight floor that serves another purpose as a runway. If any of you are familiar with Therapy and its huge staircase - this gym feels the same way. Guys walk down the steps and instantly become the center of attention. So down walks this guy - he's young, cute, Italian, not too tall, and wearing a hat with his dark hair peeping out. Now this, this was a distraction.

In my most discreet, "I am just-doing bicep curls, don't mind me" way I followed him down the staircase. Suddenly there was a three way set of glances in play. The beefcake looked at me looking at the new guy and the new guy saw me looking at the beefcake looking at him. I pretend to be disinterested and within seconds the beefcake is walking toward this guy. Wow, he moves fast. They meet up right next to the leg press. The beefcake leans down and kisses the guy.

Whoa.

This wasn't a peck, this was a kiss. This was a kiss that had to feel good. It wasn't a make-you-wet-and-sloppy kiss - it was a nice full lipped, pause until you tingle kind of kiss. My mouth dropped open and I was mesmerized. This was seriously like the hot opening of some live action porn - right here in the gym.

I have never been kissed while in the middle of a workout at a gym. Granted, lots of kissing and debauchery has gone down while working out at home the state of the art facility I created in my old apartment - but you'd have to order the video to get the details.

So this public display of affection thing between guys seems to be sweeping NYC gyms. Twice now in as many weeks I have seen guys engaged in a nice little liplock on the gym floor.

I totally got caught looking by the beefcake - like I said, I was mesmerized by this and fascinated that this frat boy was so into the little hat-wearing cutie that he couldn't resist but to kiss him right then and there.

Both guys disappeared in no time, and I had since returned to focusing on what I was there to do. Eventually I made a pit stop to the lockerroom to take a swig of MuscleMilk and to go pee. I walked in there and wouldn't you know the cute kid was sitting on the bench right next to my locker, his frat boy boyfriend/hook up/sex slave was standing next to him in a towel. What the heck was going on here and is it worth sticking around for?

I opted to skip the locker stop altogether and head right into the restroom area - I already felt like I was invading their privacy. So I headed back to the floor - my mind wandering for a few fleeting moments. I kept imagining what was going on in the lockerroom. Then I started calculating the calories they could burn trough some good old fashioned hardcore lovemaking (at least 250 if they keep at it for 40 minutes). What a cool city that guys can feel so comfortable to show a little affection while burning a few calories.