I think I can

"I think I can," puffed the little locomotive, and put itself in front of the much larger and heavier train. As it went on, the little engine kept bravely puffing faster and faster, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

It's that early childhood message that causes people to bite off more than they can chew. Of course we can do it -- so what if we're a wimpy, little, good for nothing train designed perfectly well for other tasks - we can do it, we can haul the heaviest thing you throw at us - all it it takes is the power of believing.

Sigh.

While I love for my clients to push themselves, I actually have a few clients who actually push too hard. It's a fine line between exertion and getting to the precipice of fainting into a pool of one's own sweat. One of the guys I train that does this reads the blog and I hesitated to write about it because I don't want to sacrifice the trainer confidentiality clause, but hey - it's all positive things I'm writing about.

Sort of.

Sometimes I think people try so hard because they think that if a trainer is asking them to do something - it must be possible. Even when the veins are popping out of their head, they're seeing double, and are falling in and out of consciousness - they keep going. If I say 10 reps - it must be possible, right?

The truth is that the first time(s) on any exercise is pretty much always a guessing game. Until I know my client's abilities I make guesses on what I think they ought to be able to do. Sometimes I overestimate. Actually I usually try to overestimate because I don't want the clients to think that I think they are a nelly weakling. Most of getting through an intense workout is mental (the rest is good hydration, plenty of sleep, and energy food). At any rate the first few times with a new client is when there are scary moments of near fainting, throwing up, or severe dizziness.

I had one guy who seemed like he could do anything. It was our first time so I just assumed he was a hardcore powerhouse. I kept him moving and lifting heavy weights. Next thing I know he's throwing up. That was the end of that workout. He never even hinted that he was having trouble, he just keeled over.

The "Little Engine" effect can have hugely positive results, or hugely negative ones if the engine overheats. I say haul a huge load but keep the chasis lubed and the engine tuned up. Fill up with lots of good fuel and suck in a lot of air. Now that's a lot of innuendo.

A Little Disorder For Everyone

I was never a huge fan of Bravo's fitness-based reality show Workout, but when it first began last year I was intrigued with the idea of seeing the inner workings of a gym exposed to the general public. The second season however really made me more annoyed than anything else by living up to its tagline: 3% body fat, 97% drama. It became less about fitness and training and more about the lame management skills and questionable ethics of a self-obsessed diva trainer and her sometimes "disobedient" trainer children.

However, I have to say that during a follow-up/reunion session on Bravo, the cast came together for an interesting reflection, albeit an equally irritating event to watch the awkwardness of a bitchy manager butting in to answer every question. The part that stuck with me the most was how they continued to bring up body dysmorphia, more commonly known as body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). In that moment, these trainers who I watched throughout the 2 seasons finally seemed human.

In a nutshell body dysmorophia is the unrational obsession with your own physical appearance. It's the "I'm so fat, I'm not good enough, if only I could fix this one thing . . . " dialog many of us carry on with our inner selves while looking in the mirror. Some people argue that BDD is not a "real" issue or a "real" condition. It is loosely grouped with Anorexia, but takes on a broader spectrum of behaviors, emotions, and manifestations. However, I actually think most people who work out have at least some form of this "more than an obsession" behavior.

Alright, maybe I think that because I don't want to feel alone.

There are days when I poke every inch of my body to see if I am still improving. I look in the mirror and try to see if I can still look good even without great lighting. I compare myself to guys at the gym and it usually frustrates or depresses me. I want this to be bigger, that to be more tan, and to grow taller by 2 inches. I look in the mirror and pull in my lower abs and think, "if only this," and that pattern repeats with every other square inch of my body's real estate. Like I said in a previous post, watching hot boys in Chelsea makes me want to spend an extra hour at the gym. And, sometimes, I do.

For the past 3 weeks I have worked harder than I usually do at the gym. This is coming from somebody who already never skips a day and keeps on a disciplined regime no matter what. I upped my protein shakes, upped my cardio, and upped the weights I'm pushing. My already skimpy diet has gotten streamlined and I am on a mission.

Maybe I'm not realistic - but chasing the goal does feel good. I am fairly certain I'm in the best shape of my life inside and out - but for some reason I have days when I feel like I am a slothful, chubby, squishy monster. I know that irritates people who know me and especially those that have seen me naked - but it it is what it is. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I am satisfied, sometimes even weeks. But one night of eating chips and salsa and I feel like I am ready to get into a pair of Husky jeans.

A little disorder never hurt anybody - ok well maybe some disorders hurt some people but who's keeping track? This one seems harmless, and although annoying for your friends - it keeps you in tip-top physical shape (so you're a little crazy). Sadly, like the trainers on Workout alluded, it seems to come with the training territory - all day long you are thinking about what you could (or should) be doing at the gym. The constant flow of active, muscle-bound, dark-haired, hot boys is a constant reminder to push and push and push - or in some cases I guess - a little pulling as well.